Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bapok itu yang mengorat aku!

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Biarlah aku mulakan post kali nie dengan sedikit deskripsi pasal aku.Untuk pengetahuan pembaca terutama kaum wanita,aku nie xhensem...jauh skali untuk mendapatkan gelaran kacak dan sewaktu dengannya.Struktur tubuh aku juga agak kurus kering dimana maksudnya aku x tegap atau dalam omputihnya...not tough at all.Selain itu juga,aku tergolong dalam golongan pendek yang jika digandingkan dengan 6 orang lagi rakan-rakan aku akan membentuk suatu cerita dongeng kanak-kanak bertajuk Snow White dan 7 orang kerdil.

Tentu anda semua tertanya-tanya kenapa aku nak cite pasal kelemahan diri aku nie?...

Ok...cmni.Dewasa ini,pertambahan lelaki-lelaki lembut atau bapok dan juga golongan-golongan gay semakin berleluasa umpama cendawan tumbuh selepas hujan.Dan kebiasaannya,mereka ini akan tertarik pada lelaki yang berwajah kacak...bertubuh tegap...dan tinggi.So...skrg nie pahal diorang nak ngorat aku?...Di bawah nie aku smpikan 2 kisah dari beratus-ratus kisah benar yang pernah terjadi kepada aku yang suci ini.

Kisah 1:

Aku dan rakan-rakan sekongkol bersiap-siap untuk pergi lepak minum kat kedai siam dimana suasana kedai itu seperti anda berada di selatan Thailand.TV yang terbukak di kedai itu juga slalu menayangkan rancangan siam dan pop-kuiz versi siam yang kteorang sepatah haram pun xpaham.Tapi kteorang slalu lepak kat kedai tue sebab hanya kedai tue jer yang bukak smpi pukul 3 pagi...dan juga roti telur cicah susu pekat yang sedap.

Tengah syok borak-borak pasal agama, tetiba datang segerombolan bapok yang baru lepas mencari pelanggan.Owh...lupa aku nak mention...bapok-bapok kat Kuala Perlis nie selalunya berbadan tegap macam bonzer dan bermuka sangat buruk umpama oil-filter yang dah 3 tahun xganti tapi aku xpaham kenapa ada gak orang yang nak melanggan mereka.Apa xcukup lagi ker bohsia yang ada di Malaysia ini?

Dengan ketibaan bapok-bapok tersebut,kami pun segera menamatkan perbualan sebab xlalu nak makan akibat ternampak lurah bontot bapok tersebut.Mmg fcuk ar bapok tue.Agak kurang asamnya rakan-rakan aku nie...diorang smua pegi bayar cepat-cepat pastu tunggu kat keta.Tinggallah aku seorang yang bakal menempuhi lautan bapok tersebut.Pastu mse aku dah nak dekat smpi kat area bapok tue lepak...terdengar la bunyi berdecip-decip mcm aku slalu buat kalo nmpk pompuan dari tingkap rumah...

"Hai dik"

"Xblik ker cuti nie"

"Sombong la dye"

"Adik nie sombong la...kang akak terkam kang"sambil buat bunyi mengeram

Ok...korang dapat bayangkan x cmne perasaan aku mse nie?...Aku jalan tunduk jer sambil kaki aku melangkah laju.Dalam hati aku berdoa moga-moga xde sesuatu yang buruk berlaku.Aku dah buat calculation...nie kalo bapok-bapok nie bertindak lebih ganas...memang aku jerit la.

Mujurlah xde apa yang berlaku.Smpi jer kat keta...semua rakan-rakan yang aku sayang sangat (sayang mcm hell) dah tersenyum-senyum.

"Cmne Zi?...Kne kaco x?"

Owh...korang memang damn la tinggalkan aku sorang-sorang.Berbakul-bakul la kata nista yang aku curahkan pada mereka mse dalam perjalanan pulang tue.

Kisah 2:

Waktu tue jam dah pukul 3 pagi.Aku ajak bebudak nie minum tapi semua xde duit.Yerla...hujung sem la kata kan.So aku dgn Apek pun gerak la pegi 7E Kuala Perlis dengan menaiki Honda EX5 Type-R dye.

Untuk pengetahuan pembaca, xtahu la sejak bila bapok-bapok nie isytiharkan depan 7E tue jadi port diorang lepak cari pelanggan.Aku yang masih trauma dengan pengalaman lepas segera melangkah pantas ke dalam 7E mencapai roti Butterscotch dan Big-Gulp saiz sederhana.

Dah siap bayar...aku tunggu Apek dalam 7E...xbrani kuar.Selang beberapa minit pastu,kteorang pun kuar la...pegi kat motor...pakai helmet.Mse pki helmet tue aku terdengar la bapok tue bising-bising ber-swiit-swiit tapi aku buat xdengar jer.Apek plak aku tgk macam nak gelak tapi dye cover pastu pura-pura borak dengan aku.

Start motor...Jalan.On the way nak balik tue,Apek pun cite la kat aku (sila jangan tiru aksi ini tanpa pengawasan orang yang profesional--->borak atas motor).

"Zi,ko dgr x bapok tue jerit-jerit apa td?"

"X...diorang jerit apa"

"Diorang panggil ko...cakap abang pakai baju hijau (aku pki baju hijau...Apek pki baju hitam)...abang macho la"

"Owh...yer ker" aku cuba pura-pura cool padahal dalam hati Ya Allah cuaknya...

















Cukup lah 2 kisah yang aku sampaikan pada kali nie.Sebenarnya banyak lagi kejadian yang seumpama itu berlaku pada diri aku yang suci dan kudus ini.

Moralnya disini...janganlah anda menjadi bapok.Sekian terima kasih.

162 comments:

wadefuk June 4, 2009 at 6:34 PM  

ele...ko nk kte ko hot kn...da fmes di klgn bapuk kn??/ala...ngaku je la...
myb depa da tukar selera la..nk yg pndek n kurus

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 4, 2009 at 6:42 PM  

Hahaha...pala budak ko.Tapi mengapa mesti aku?...Mengapa aku?

wadefuk June 4, 2009 at 6:51 PM  

sebb apek putih...bkn taste depa....
kn depa legap..so kene match

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 4, 2009 at 7:06 PM  

Ceh...Apek putih celah mana.Eh,ko pun dah mcm bapok la aku tgk...hahaha

iyllienaz June 4, 2009 at 7:24 PM  

haha..jadi pujaan bapok..gile xde taste bapok2 ni..

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 4, 2009 at 7:50 PM  

Hahaha...agak berkecil sedikit hati aku.

ismah saibudin June 4, 2009 at 7:57 PM  

Aku nak kutuk pon xsampai ati.

muahahahaha

SyafiQ June 4, 2009 at 9:08 PM  

uztazah aq kate...klau jumpe laki cam sepak jek....wakaka kekejaman teserlah plak...
tp kra ok la tue...ahakz
aq satu sem dok sebilik ngan bapok...

mizz annie June 4, 2009 at 10:37 PM  

hahaha..bapok kt perlis sexy2..dolu2 mase ak g kayangan store tu beli brg, slalu jmp bapok2..hahaha!

Najlaa Raihana June 4, 2009 at 10:48 PM  

perghh....razi "HOT"!

malangnya hanya di kalangan bapok2...

(ko jangan reply ko nak amik ayat 1st tuh je. aku sepuk ko nnt..) terima je hakikat..

jalak lenteng June 4, 2009 at 11:23 PM  

hmm..ko ade perwatakan bapok kan?
bukan dioang cakap ko bapok meki ker?

tu pengajaran bg ko yang gatal sgt nak mendampingi dioang ..haha..

aku kene kejar ngn geng2 tu kol 5pagi..macam hanjeng perangai dioang..badan bagak2 cam gajah..ada ati mau jadi bapok..

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 5, 2009 at 1:00 AM  

Ismah:Ceh...xsmpi hati konon

Shafiq:Satu sem sebilik dgn bapok?...Huahua...ada perubahan orientasi x?

Annie:Seksi?...Owhh plz~

Najlaa:Hahaha...aku baru nak guna ayat tue.Yerla...bapok jer yang minat aku.Aku terima kenyataan.

Emir:Hahaha...serius ker kena kejar Men?...Yerla...ko kan hensem...macam Jehan Fucking Miskin.

wadefuk June 5, 2009 at 6:47 AM  

main kasar e razi....mana ada aku bpuk....adess..

I Am Marat13 June 5, 2009 at 12:14 PM  

kat mane2 je ek bapok kejar ko. aritu chatting ngn ko kt skype kan? berdedikasi btul mereka tu.

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 5, 2009 at 12:44 PM  

Ika:Hahaha...xkn la cun mcm ko dikata bapok.Apa buta ker org tue?

Naqqib:Hahaha...tue la pasal.Aku nie ada badi bapok ker?

Mon June 5, 2009 at 5:41 PM  

Hak ala..Erin ajak ak dtg bilik die mase sem bape tah dl ak rilek je..die kate meh la datang.Leh peluk2..Leh urut2..Wow~~
Takat ko ni..tinggi tak sampai,dade berbulu,dagu berjambang,perut berbulu.Mesti la bapok nak..Leh pacak lambung dak ni katenyer.Ringan pn ringan,xbnyk kerenah plak tu..miahahaha..

mohd izzat hishamuddin June 5, 2009 at 11:40 PM  

bodo nye mon..
tp serius dowh..mon ckp tu xtipu..
ape ntah yg erin nk sgt..

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 6, 2009 at 12:19 AM  

Mon:Hahaha...tue sebab perut ko mcm air...bapok-bapok ske main dgn perut ko

Ijat:Hahaha...eh Jat...ko ada blog ker?

mohd izzat hishamuddin June 7, 2009 at 10:57 AM  

ada..cite pasal program kembara amal yg aku join skang..try r usha..mana tau ko ada terpk nk join gak..

mohd izzat hishamuddin June 7, 2009 at 11:48 AM  

wadefuk ni ika kan?..
wakakaka..
hi ika..

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 7, 2009 at 1:18 PM  

Cmne nak usha blog ko sengal?

mohd izzat hishamuddin June 7, 2009 at 3:42 PM  

mana aku blog la bodo..ni akaun gmail aku je..nnt aku da jd penyanyi samson, aku wat blog..
ok baby?..

wadefuk June 7, 2009 at 6:25 PM  

aah..aku la..ika

Abang Terrer June 8, 2009 at 8:50 AM  

Hello bro.. bapok ni kdg2 x semesti hensem dia cari.. kalo jenis nafsu kuat tu, sapa2 pun dia layan bro.. hati2lah ok..

p/s: Kalo jmp Pondan Chulan, lagi malang.. Baca sini http://abang81.blogspot.com/2009/06/pondan-chulan-mengganas.html

zahara sufian June 8, 2009 at 10:51 AM  

tapi dalam hati ko mesti ko berbangga bapok2 tu usha2 ko.. jangan tipu la tak de..hahaha.. sebab bapok hanya memandang mereka2 yang hot2 shj.. hot kah engkau? jeng jeng jeng...

ps:teringat aku dulu mase sekolah menengah ade pengkid comel kat ruffey midvalley =) ismah pun kenal aku rase . azie aelin pun tau gk.. hahaahaha.. terpesongkah aku?

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 8, 2009 at 9:36 PM  

Ijat:Sibodo!

Ika:Ko xyh layan mamat gemuk pendek tue...hahaha

Abang Terer:Hahaha...aku dah bce post tue.Blog ko ker?...Ganas sungguh bapok skrg.

Raja:Owh plz~...aku xde la buruk sgt aku rse...tp xkan taste bapok jer

Nadzrah June 14, 2009 at 3:25 PM  

fuhh!!! hawt nyer ko razi!
kah2!

naDDy June 14, 2009 at 11:21 PM  

kesian..menjadi mangsa...

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 15, 2009 at 2:07 AM  

Nad:Aku mmg hot la

Naddy:Hahaha...sian kan?

NuGhuL June 15, 2009 at 3:23 AM  

bapok kiut per!!..best la geng ngn diorg..klu aku ade kt c2,aku ler yng akn sedaya upaya mngasah bakat mreka agr ngorat ko lbih lg...huhu...kasi ko serende,lalu join club mreka..yesss!!!

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 15, 2009 at 8:29 PM  

Nughul:Adakah kamu bapok yang insaf lalu memakai tudung?...Hahaha...

NuGhuL June 16, 2009 at 5:11 PM  

erk?ko dpt kesan eh my secret spot yng tnjuk aku bapok?adoi,da shave bulu kaki,mebi ternmpak kesan2 kot....siot la ko..diam2 udah ler...serenda la mak jd bapok gni..wuwuwu..malu mak!!

fndrocka June 17, 2009 at 12:27 PM  

erk..ganas gak bapok2 ni eh..ingatkan aku dorg tak marbahaya..ish ishh. kalau rupa tak hot tu takyah risaulah kan kan kan....ni aku konpius nak risau ke tak payah..ahkahak

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin June 17, 2009 at 1:47 PM  

Nughul:Hahaha...adui...

Fndrocka:Uish...ganas gak.Kalo dah nalurinya lelaki tue...mmg xleh lari jgk.

[x]mint[x] June 22, 2009 at 2:18 AM  

ahahhahah.
mungkin yang hot tak dapat, yang kurang hot pun diorang bedal je lah. ingat senang ke nak popular di kalangan pondan ni? mereka taste tinggi tau.

bersyukurlah. hahahahah

Mohd Fakhrurazi Jamaludin July 6, 2009 at 7:34 PM  

hahaha...perlukah aku bersyukur?

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Mrs.Irene Query January 24, 2016 at 5:17 PM  

HOW I GOT MY LOAN FROM DR KELLY WILLIAMS LOAN FINANCE

My Brothers and Sister all over the world, I am Mrs.Irene Query Wheat from Philippines ;i was in need of loan some months ago. i needed a loan to open my restaurant and bar, when one of my long time business partner introduce me to this good and trustful loan lender DR KELLY WILLIAMS that help me out with a loan, and is interest rate is very low , thank God today. I am now a successful business Woman, and I became useful. In the life of others, I now hold a restaurant and bar. And about 30 workers, thank GOD for my life I am leaving well today a happy father with three kids, thanks to you DR KELLY WILLIAMS Now I can take care of my lovely family, i can now pay my bill. I am now the bread winner of my family. If you are look for a trustful and reliable loan leader. You can Email him via,mail (financialgoodnews22@hotmail.com) Please tell him Mrs Irene Query Wheat from Philippines introduce you to him. THANKS


LOAN APPLICATION FORM:
First Name:
Last Name:
Next Of Kin:
Date Of Birth:
Marital Status:
Address:
Sex:
Phone No:
City:
Zip Code:
State:
Country:
Nationality:
Weekly income:
Occupation:
Monthly Income:
Amount Needed:
Duration:
Date of loan needed:
Purpose of the loan:
E-mail address:

Regards.
Managements
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Contact Us At :financialgoodnews22@hotmail.com

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